"Let me put you out of your misery right away", she said almost before we sat down. This is the specialist nurse we're seeing to review the results of the prostate biopsy operation I had 36 days ago. "There is no cancer!"
Stunned silence .... Resting in disbelief, my head slips back slowly against the wall behind me.... I'm in a world of questions mostly formed around....
"What the #%<*?!"
Since August last year I've had numerous invasive investigations to discover why I can't pee properly. (I can, but afterwards there's too much urine left in my bladder). This is not good, because over time it could damage my kidneys ~ or I might explode.
To cut a long and complicated story short, we've gone from an initial theory of 'Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia' (BPH), "Your prostate is enlarged, which is perfectly normal for your age and it's squeezing your urethra and causing retention", to "We'd better make sure it's not some form of cancer, so you'd best have an MRI and a biopsy operation". So I did and thankfully nothing abnormal was detected. No cancer; "BPH, Yayyy!"
However, it is true that I do have a rather impressive prostate gland. Normally they are walnut-sized. Evidently, mine's more the size of a coconut ~ well somewhat shy of that really.
The upshot of this fact, is that I do need an operation as soon as possible for a 'rebore', to get everything working as normal again. There are no guarantees that there won't be complications afterwards and it could be more unpleasant than the biopsy I had before, and longer and even more eye-watering to recover from. But.... when you think about the unthinkable alternative of what might have been.... well, I consider myself a very lucky man!
Just to finish, picture this.... I'm settling back now with a small glass of celebratory Port🍷....
"Ahhh.... so good!"
'Cockburns' of course. (I mean Co-burns)
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