Wednesday 28 August 2013

Mindfully non-Pitching


Yesterday was a day of Mindfulness like no other I can remember7 hours standing and sitting in a street promoting our group’s monthly meeting for everyday mindfulness. At my town’s Summer Festival, I am surrounded by people setting up their gazebo’s and selling their waresbaskets, beers, hats, t-shirts, a jobs around the home network, a bouncy castle and face-painting for kids, exotic foods, garlic…. and that’s just what I can see from my pitchthere is much more beyond; an explosion of delights and intrigue for the senses. The smells and sounds grow, the weather is kind and people are coming. I feel excited, exposed, and yes….. a bit embarrassed. There’s no way this is going to go well!

Waiting…… being still…… waiting…… being still…… waiting…… there are lots of people here, and as the day warms up, steadily, more and more wander by.  In my allocated spot on the shady side of the street, I have a table, a couple of chairs and I have some laminated sheets with big coloured lettersstrung out like buntingflapping like flags in the breeze. ‘N O W’ the one in front says, and on the table-top there are the words, ‘Noticing, Observing, Witnessing’, and ‘Patient, Open-Minded, Trusting, Non-Striving, Accepting, Letting Go, Non Judging’the seven pillars of Mindfulnessplus a small leaflet to give to people or let them take, which explains about the group. Not exactly a classy get-up, but a presence of sorts anyway.

The friendly (and they are friendly) stall-holders around me start trading straight away and they use all the ancient tools and techniques of selling. They are jolly, chatty, smiley, they walk up to people, they make a lot of eye and body-contact, they call out, they make jokes and bustle aroundand money flows. In the past, I’ve done my fair share of pitching, but not today. Today I’m just (non)doing; being what it says on the Mindful tinas best I canand noticing. Noticing the families, babies, children, friends, lovers, infirmity, beauty, athleticism, shy, bold, loud….. train of colourful people drifting by, back and forth—all diversity of life is here—including a lot of other amazing animals of the ‘pet’ variety too! I am dazzled by it all and now, just about beginning to relax and enjoy the festivities.

Mostly, people go by looking quizzically and with polite curiosity at the N O W and me. If I see more than a passing flicker of interest, I move in a little bit towards them asking ‘Hi, are you local?’ Not in a predatory way I hope—more like a horse-whisperer than a salesman! It surprises me to learn how many people already know about our group and Mindfulness, and say they haven’t gotten round to doing anything about it, but that they really should. So it’s a chance for me to describe a bit about what we do and don’t do and for them to see and meet the one who ‘guides’ the group (not just meeting me, because thankfully, there is another group member with me at the stand some of the time and that’s really helpful for them to see her friendly presence and talk to her too).

And the stories, the heart-rending stories; ‘I’ve left my wife and kids—it was for the best’; ‘If we don’t get more mindful soon we’ll get dragged into another war’; ‘I’ve been depressed, my doctor says mindfulness would help’; ‘It’s hard being a single parent and having the responsibility for everything’. They don’t ask much about, ‘What do you do in the group?’—they hungrily want to express and share their special stories of lived-lives. One person I meet tells me she has recently lost her husband—she is in tears right away, and full of apology. I am there. I listen. I’m present with her—and all my own stuff too.

So many people associating Mindfulness with therapy and getting ‘fixed’. I gently tell them we don’t do therapy, we turn towards and reflect on the ‘What Is’ of life and we learn to accept and let go. And it’s not all about the practice either, which many of them say they do or have lapsed from. It’s not what they expect and probably disappoints them, but somehow they seem comforted and reassured and want carefully to check the details of coming to the group’s next meeting.  I wonder how many of these people will join us—could be standing-room only next time! It doesn’t matter.

This has been a humbling experience and reminder for me. So many people want to have Mindfulness in their life and still there is much misunderstanding and suffering which we add to with the mind. I wonder about the difference between our stall and cause, which doesn’t ask for money and the other stall-holders who do. I guess regardless of whether money, goods and services exchanges hands, everyone is a potential customer for all of the stall-holders, and we’re all potential customers for each other. At the start of the day, I felt like I was the sore thumb in this collection of humanity, but now I see there is no difference between us—it’s about survival—we all need each other. Wouldn’t it be good though if there were a few more Mindful stall-holders out there, sharing what we know about the mind—not pitching—just being there in everyday life?

Friday 23 August 2013

The Display Team



As a part of a display team, I have been helping to set up our annual arts and crafts summer exhibition, with over 600 exhibits on show this year – paintings, sculptures, and many varieties of ceramic and craft work. There is no selection process, so everyone can put in more or less whatever they like. One entry was a huge Wallace and Gromit-type sheep made out of cardboard tubes for legs, plastic bottles for a head and a white plastic sheet wrapped around soft material for a body.  One senior member of my team, nearly tried to remove the plastic sheet because she thought it was a wrapper when in fact it was actually meant to be the main part of the sheep’s body! I alerted her to this fact and just managed to prevent the inadvertent destruction of the piece in the nick of time. That was a funny moment.  Other works were literally more weighty, including a 25Kg horse’s head made of Portland stone which I and another guy helped to lift and it nearly did my back in, some amazing paintings and pots and ceramic sculptures of all kinds.

Our job was to decide where each piece of pottery, ceramic work and sculpture was to be displayed and in what manner. Not an easy task, and I don’t think I contributed very much, partly because every time I suggested something could go here or there it was kind of ignored, as my other team colleagues seemed to know exactly where things should go! So I had plenty of things to notice going on with the mind, including thoughts such as, ‘What’s the point!?’ ‘This is a bit of a waste of time’, ‘I’m only here as the token bloke to do some lifting now and again’, ‘I don’t really fit in – they are all in the same branch of the society and I’m not’, ‘Why was I volunteered for this?’…. and so on. All thoughts that were a bit negative and down on myself.

There didn’t seem to be much by way of collaboration – things just seemed to end up where they were meant to be and I got a bit bored.  I found myself playing with the idea that each piece could be displayed completely differently, almost randomly, and that would be just as OK too.  In my mind I indulged my obsessive eye and mentally nudged pieces an inch here and an inch there just for fun. Then I even started doing that humourously for real, and actually, it was OK with the others – they didn’t frown on me anyway.

Then to break up this reverie, a man from the press came and asked us if we would pose for a few shots as if we were discussing various pieces of work. I immediately went to grab my sculpture which had been lying on a table behind us waiting for placement in the hall. I always seem to make stuff which doesn’t quite fit the bill. In this case, a sculpture which I made to hang from a wall, instead of free-standing on a plinth. Consequently, as usual, no-one quite knew what to do with it.  So anyway, the photographer loved it and was so impressed he wanted me to stand in front holding the piece to camera with the others gathered around me. I was really embarrassed and kind of pleased at the same time, and he kept asking me questions about the work which only made matters worse, because then I enthusiastically told him some of the story of the piece and described its construction which just fascinated him more…. “It’s made of a welder’s mask found on a beach and given to me by a friend, a uniselector telephone relay switch from 1940, the same as those used at Bletchley Park in the first computers for code breaking; also given by a friend, a glass reflector in a box I bought from an antiques fair, with a mirror behind - I use mirrors a lot in my work….. and it’s called ‘LOS (letting go)’, LOS standing for loss of signal, which is a computing term…..‘  Talk about self-promotion! I went from a hang-back slightly on- the-edge person to centre-stage in an instant. I could see this happening and I wondered at the same time what was going through my colleagues minds and it all happened so quickly.  I also noticed that what the photographer was writing in his notebook bore little or no resemblance to what I was saying.  Ah well, at least the photo would be an accurate rendition wouldn’t it?

On reflection, through each person’s art work, I guess we are all there to promote and display the Self. What you notice is how different all these Selves are and underneath it all there may be the common purpose of ‘Look at me!?’  The whole point of the exhibition is for people to exhibit their work for all sorts of reasons I guess, sometimes monetary, but mostly I imagine because they want to be seen and appreciated for something they have made - we even get awards and presentations for doing this. (PS I got a ‘Highly Commended’ but who cares? What does it matter? Well… I guess I do a little bit!)

I can say for myself, that I produce what I make because of a creative urge to express my feelings and convey ideas about Mindfulness, but that’s not exactly letting go of Self is it? In fact, the truth is, I become so attached to the works I make, that I find it hard to let go of them at all. Fortunately, no-one so far has said they want to buy any of them anyway, and in any case the ‘LOS (letting go)’ piece is definitely ‘NFS’! The work has deeply personal meaning for me and I think I will never be able to let it go even though the title would suggest I am letting go of stuff inside and around it. The object of the mind remains firmly attached to the objects themselves as assembled- There’s attachment for you - Maybe one day I’ll let go of it all.

Working with a group of people I didn’t or don’t really know? It’s a strange experience because there are some folks I don’t see at any other time of the year, and it’s as if we never really get beyond the awkward start-up phase of conversation. Does it matter that I don’t really know them or that I may never really know anyone properly including myself? It feels as though it does, but I suppose what really matters is that we connect in some way. Whereas before, I felt a huge distance and sense of being an outsider, (a feeling I often experience), in this moment, as I write this, I feel a great surge of gratitude and closeness towards others. Maybe we’re not as different and distant as my mind would have me think.

[For those of you who might be around to see the exhibition, it's open until next Tuesday -  http://petersfieldartsandcrafts.org.uk/]

Monday 12 August 2013

Weeds are a wonderful pause for Mindfulness

For the last three years we have let the weeds, heathers and grasses grow on the front garden and this has caused great consternation and controversy for neighbours and passers by - it’s a pretty busy road. There are those who judge us and don’t like it and say in not so many words, we’ve let the garden go and are basically too lazy to keep it tidy, and there are those who judge us differently, saying it’s great and they really enjoy the spectacle.

I have to admit, it was my wife’s idea to let the garden become a wild flower meadow, and I felt a bit uneasy about it, because I didn’t want to draw attention to (myself) and was concerned - as ever - about what other people would say (and think!) Now I find I like it so much that I feel a sense of ownership of it - all weird I know.

Anyway, this year we reached the point when things were going-over in the garden, and we were about to do our usual cut-back to some kind of lawn, when we discovered we had several bees nests on the ground. We had to be very careful not to disturb them, so ended up using shears and cutting around them - people must have thought we’d gone bonkers!

For me, the realisation that there is all this beautiful nature going on naturally, as we allow it to be - we even have a regular visit from a woodpecker now, who seems to appreciate the wildlife that springs up - and there is all this stuff I and many others add to it with our minds, is another reminder of how Mindfulness (when we’re Mindful) can be right there in front of us in everyday life. When I’m Mindful, I think that’s as wonderful as nature, and so it should be if we recognise we and it are all one thing - then there’s no judging, no worrying and no ownership...... to mention but a few.

So yes, let's appreciate the beauty of nature!